i hate this place. get me out.
i hate this. i hate it so much. i've only met about three people i think i could become good friends with, and they don't seem too keen on getting to know me. otherwise, i haven't really met anyone worthwhile. it takes so much work to try and make friends, and i feel like i have to act a certain way or else they'r not going to like me. i feel so shitty. the only time i have fun is when nick visits because he already knows me and i'm comfortable around him. there's no effort, no artificiality.
i think a lot of it is being in st. louis. i'm just going to all the places i've been before. i feel like a fucking tour guide, and that if people don't enjoy themselves it's my fault.
i just hate it so much. and things with paul are so....difficult. i miss high school beyond understanding.
9 Comments:
marge, even tho that is a kinda fucked up way of givin advice i could not agree more with druidprop...honestly...just know that all of us love you to death and that we're all goin through similar things...so chill...have as much fun as possible....and most importantly be yourself...the people that you don't fit with won't want to be your best friends (which will be good for you) but you'll find some cool people eventually...and just keep in mind that all of us aren't even on the table...you will never lose us...so you've got nothing TO lose when making new friends so go for it...
Let go of your reactive mind. Easier said then done, but basiclly don't let all your past expierences with making friendships get in the way.
It is obvious that if you are posting online you are probably not out making friends. Try leaving the door open and put a sign out that says Visitors welcome or something. And take sticky notes and write your name and e-mail on them and put them on everyone's door on your floor. I have been here for 2 weeks and am already pretty damn close to most all the guys on my floor.
merge, i may get the chance to come back there in late september, and if i do, i had better see you. the spear-throwing club is taking a weekend trip to cahokia, which, as you know, is not so far from st. louis. so long as i join the spear-throwing club, i should be able to go.
I agree with Jeff- best way to meet people is walk up and down the dorm and say hi to those that have their doors open. Keep yours open, but never leave it unlocked when you leave, even when you go to the bathroom, and especially when you go to the shower. Sorry, but Mizzou has some problems with thieves and shit so I'm just figuring everyone is having the same problems. My new friend Ashley doesn't lock her door cuz she says that if anyone is desperate enough to break in while she's taking a shit, that they just suck at life and it will catch up with them. I thought it was funny. margaret, if you need anything, just give me a call, I'm here. I may not answer cuz my phone is a piece of shit, but leave a long message if you need to, and I'll get back to you.
and it's true that hippy u is not perfect itself. just last night i spent wandering around for quite sometime before i found someone i knew and actually did something with. i still say join an organization or something. or put something strange and interesting on your door and write "ask me about this picture" or whatever.
actually jeff, one can get online and do something that only takes a few minutes to do. just because i made a post or two in the past five days does not mean that i am spending all of my time in my room. i have in fact met many people, most of whose names i have forgotten, and i do leave my door open and on our dry erase board i wrote "give us a knock".
Ya our floor is gaurded by anyone on our floor at the time. And by guarded I mean constantly watched by confedertae flag toting pyros who use their spare time to make minor adjustments to their fire arms...in the middle of the hall.
Someone down the hall has a 7,000 dollar Plasma TV and he doesn't lock his door a lot of the time.
i feel like everyone here at truman is really really friendly. i have had lots of people come up to me and say hi and im kinda learning to be one of those people who randomly walks up to people and says hi. i really feel like i am supposed to know everyone here because thats how it was in highschool though. i know its impossible but i feel like if i dont know just one person that one person could be like tghe coolest person ever. i dotn know its pretty stupid.
i know exactly what you mean, laura. exactly.
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