going off katie's last subject....

shit is gross.
i'm a nurse aide and i feel like all i ever do is clean up people's shit.
old people poop alot.

the end. :)

Shit just hit the fan...

Where in the hell did that saying come from? I was just thinking that. The shit hasn't really (literally or figuratively) hit the fan. I was just pondering the origin of that saying. I know, its probably been wondered about for ages, but seriously? Was there a day in some poor person's life where actual shit flew up (somehow) and collided with a fan? That would be disgusting. Almost as disgusting as a really drunk friend tracking their shit all over your apartment. Wait, that did happen to me. Oh well, I don't live there anymore and I didn't have to clean it up! haha. Thats kinda how I started thinking about that saying. Anyway, I am really bored at work and so I decided to waste my time by blogging instead of working on... well... work. Woo. Yay for working every damn day. Woot.

A little more uplifting, promise

I really don't have anything too interesting. Uh, again, still go to Mizzou, major is International Studies and no I don't know what I'm going to do with that when I graduate. Fingers crossed, I'll graduate December 2009 and study abroad in either Croatia or Budapest summer session 2009. Life is quick right now...it's almost July. I'm 21 now. The days are basically full of nothing, the weekends full of mischief, and the weeks are flying by at warp speed. But I guess that's what summer is, isn't it? Days full of nothing going by too fast. The dogs are doing well. For those that may not have heard, my dad bought a puppy from a crackhead (for $3) last spring. His name is Roscoe and the whole family is convinced that he has a lisp. Rosey is still mean and still eats her own shit. I love that dog. Nora graduated from Webster and is headed to Mizzou in the fall- she was pre-accepted into the school of business, and received quite a few scholarships. I'm living off campus in the same house as last year, with the same roommates. It's a great little place, even though the owners can suck a dick. I'm supposed to start bartending or something up at Amanda's bar soon, as long as I finish my math. Jimmy Strzelec is tutoring me, bless his heart. I have til June 30. Keep your fingers crossed! The parents are doing well, kooky as ever. So far there are no vacation plans this summer, only work for all of us. I'm actually tempted to send out an event invitation to everyone on Facebook to see if we can resurrect this blog. But that will be for another time, I have to go watch CSI. It's very important.

my turn to fill everyone in

i'm living in tulsa this summer and finally set a date to move home.... august 1st!
carolyn has already heard my story, but basically i got screwed every way possible at TU and was "dismissed" from the nursing program only to be let back in for this upcoming fall... problem is i'd be in the class behind up ('10) and at 35,000 (oh yeah, tuition started at 22,000 our frosh year) that is beyond not worth it. well try explaining to missouri nursing schools that you are qualified enough to be an LPN (licenses practicing nurse) and only got dismissed because of .023 of a percentage point, they just don't care. I'll probably end up going to Florissant Valley (they have one nursing school opening... whoo!) and then do an online RN-BSN throught Mizzou. This is just not the way things were supposed to be, but I think we all understand that about now.

while i tulsa i'm living on my own for the first time ever (meaning no roommate) and i must say that it is quite nice. third floor apt with a balcony and a gorgeous view of downtown, i'm set. i'm working on the inpatient rehab floor at st. john's down here as well. hoping to get that job transferred up to Missouri Baptist in August. um... as for love life, i'm still dating joe... i'm not sure how many of you know about him though... i'll have to make that change soon. i'm also trying to find a place to live when i get back to stl... i've found two apts downtown that I love and are not too bad price wise.

i hope everyone is doing well. i know that things seem tough right now for a lot of us but we can all pull through.

Something clever...

I still go to Mizzou. I am still taking the same math course I signed up for last summer, and I have a nagging suspicion that I won't finish it. I don't even want to think about the consequences- there's no way I can wiggle out of this one. Still dating Brian, he just left this morning for Europe for 3 weeks. I get to look forward to maybe 3 emails, no phone calls and basically no contact with him for the next three weeks. Mom says if I can do that, I can do anything. Cute, Susan, that's just darling. Today was kind of an off day, my bad for the solemn post. I'm out of words, something unheard of for me, so I am going to sign off and pick this up at a later date. Hopefully I can come up with something more creative and interesting.

You Know What Sucks...

You know what sucks? I have to work seven days a week. Then after a 9 hour day of work I have to rush to the gym to work out so I can hopefully become skinny. Then I can't even eat my comfort foods to cheer me up because then I would have to go to the gym again. Being fat sucks, and working sucks, and being so tired after working all day then spending an hour and a half working out really sucks cause then you never get to do anything fun cause you are just too damn worn out. That's all.

for stupid eyes only:

let's completely set aside the high tuition rates. forget the $200 for a parking permit. let's not even go into the we'll sell you a text book you might open for an obscene amount of money that you don't have, give you next to nothing for it 6 months later if it is in perfect condition, knock $20 off the retail price and resell it for the next 2 years to some sad sap who thought they are getting a deal buying used while a bunch of corporate nothings change a few statistics so a new edition can be published every 4 years, if you are lucky. yea, no let's set all of that aside. and let's just focus on the quality of the student body. what kind of standards do they set for attending webster university?

so the admission standards for freshman don't sound all that terrible.

"Applicants most likely to be accepted will be in the top 50 percent of their high school class, will have a cumulative grade point average of at least a B, and will have an ACT composite score of 21 or above and/or a combined SAT of 1500 or above. Freshman applicants are expected to complete a college preparatory secondary school program with at least 19 units of academic credit. "

and they give a decent amount of money to freshman students who start out at webster.

"Approximately 95% of freshmen who are U.S. citizens or permanent residents at the home campus in St. Louis receive financial assistance." and "The average financial aid package including gifts, loans, and work-study is $15,000."

but check out the admission requirements for transfer students:

"While a minimum cumulative college G.P.A. of 2.5 on a 4.0 scale is preferred, every application is given thorough review and careful consideration. Note: ACT or SAT scores are not required for transfer students if you have been out of high school for more than one year."

"Academic scholarships are offered to qualified full-time transfer students who have achieved a cumulative G.P.A. of at least 3.0 or higher (on a 4.0 scale) on all college work attempted."

but fuck that. you don't care about all those stupid facts that involve a school you don't attend.

here's the point: the student body of webster is comprised of the most inane individuals i have every had the misfortune of meeting. and although i have met a few professors that have been worth my time, energy and maybe even my money, they are rare. problem #1: stupid kids take a semester or two at a community college and get a's. doesn't matter what the classes were. and get ridiculous amounts of money, they get paid to go to webster. problem #2: professors are not challenged by this lacking student body and therefore are unable to maintain high expectations of their students. which results in an uninformed, unintelligent, downright stupid student body.

so i'm taking a summer school class for my certificate of entrepreneurship. intro to entrepreneurial management. and i had such high hopes. the class was said to be fairly decent and i was recommended to take it by the head of the department.

4 hours every thursday night for 8 weeks. it's a tough sell for any professor. but for this one, damn. this one just "couldn't figure out how to get the internet to work" or to remember to bring a syllabus, i'm worried about the next 7 weeks.

during the first 10 minutes there were 4 people that found out they weren't cut out to run their own businesses after they took a 10 question personality assessment (a copy of which i think can be found in the 2003 September edition of Cosmo). the genius behind the marketing strategy of Apple's new, "wait what was the name of that new expensive phone called? no it went for like $600 when it first came out, then they dropped down to like $400, what was up with that?" was beyond the intelligence of not only every other student but also the professor. (i'm sorry what?)

i feel like quitting. so close to graduating and it makes we want to cry. but more for humanity than anything else. and for me. yes i cry for myself. cause let's face it. i'm the stupid one for continuing my education at this sad establishment.




and now to further my point, to beat it to a pulp, and to demonstrate exactly what i'm talking about if for no other reason than for your entertainment. this essay was written in my media writing class. the assignment was to interview someone in your field of interest on the point in their life where they knew what they wanted to do as their career. author will remain anonymous so no one can punish him/her.

Through the Eyes of Cliff Allen

In the small town of Festus Missouri thirty miles south of St. Louis, you will find a fellow by the name of Clifton H. Allen. Cliff, as he is prefers to be called, was born October 18, 1915 on a small farm at Alto Pass in southern Illinois. He is a man with a courageous heart but at the same time he is given with a very soft modest tone and peaceful character for a small town country boy that would give the shirt off of his back of any one he knew. His gray hair and shimmering blue eyes show a mark of many years of experiences and wisdom. With his ever comforting smile he shows a storytelling style sense of humor and wit that is stored in his memory at the unusually bold age of 92, He still shows a very strong love of life. It's amazing that this peaceful and quite man was ever near the Second World War with its ambitious naval battles.
Cliff was a radar man during the Second World War upon an escort carrier by the name of USS Sergeant Bay. On this ship he would experience one of the most fearful and dangerous times of his life. Like now we are at a time of war. It is not as epic or grand as the war Cliff experienced but it's an issue that is still there. The Issue of what service men experience when they go to war. By taking a look at Cliff we get a glimpse into a man who went to war and experienced it first hand the unity training and how they dealt with their fear.
Cliff was drafted into the navy reserves in the year of 1943. If you recall our history, 1943 was a little over a year from the time that they United States joined in the war. Cliff was working at that time was for a small arms plant in the states making 50 to 30 caliber bullets for machine guns. When it came to joining the service Cliff says
"It was kind of a mixture, I was 26, 27, my friends were going. I need to go, I thought to do my duty but my job was submitting to the war effort."
Cliff had a choice of staying or going but he was going to be drafted so he decided to join the navy "since my (his) brother was in the navy" he said. As was cited earlier Cliff was a radar man on an escort carrier which was a special job that required its own special training.
"Radar was a secret. The first thing they did when I went to radar school was to swear us to secrecy. None of knew about radar. They had to teach you from scratch like in kindergarten, but the longer we went to schools the more we knew. They taught us coordinates and how to write backwards on the plexi board." (Plexi board is a clear see-through board that you would write bearing and time of ships in the radar scope.)
During their time at training until the time on the ship Cliff was assigned to a radar crew that he stayed with during the whole time of his service. Being with this group he grew attached to it.
"Everybody was friendly; everybody knew things about each other. Everybody was in the same situation that you were in being away from home. If you got in the dumps someone would try and cheer you up by playing cards or just talking."
Due to the tight enclosures of being on a ship at sea they got so attached that they even had nick names for each other.
"Everybody had a nick name because you knew everyone. Every week you'd send your laundry and when it would come back every one would accuse each other of stealing your skibies."
Cliff and his radar crew were in all six battles that his ship was of during the war His ship was to supply the main carriers with supplies that were needed; during battle he faced opposition such as the much feared kamikazes attacks which added the most chaos in battle. Cliff recalls just how much of a threat the kamikaze planes were He recalls the time where there was a close call on his ship.
"One came from starboard (right) side of the ship and was shot down no more than fifty feed in front of the bow of the carrier. It always occurred to you that you were in danger, but there was so much going on you didn't get scared until later."
After the war ended Cliff went home and had to get back into the routine of things, He came home to his wife Fern Allen (who died in 2005) who he was married to before the war and also learning to stop being a sailor.
"I didn't have anything, all I had was a uniform so I had to buy new clothes. I also was getting back home to Fern, which was getting use to beginning with a woman."
While I interviewed this man and all that he had done I had to ask him if he would do it all again? He responded.
"I wouldn't care about doing it again but I couldn't trade what I experience, the people I met and seeing the world."


dear god.

Livin in the Nasty Nati

Alrighty, so here's my post.
I am currently living in Cinci for the summer in an apartment I share with two girls. The one girl is living at home for the summer, the other lives with me (Caitlin - I have lived with her since freshman year). We are still settling in since we moved in like a week ago, but it seems like it'll be good. I work at an art gallery downtown in an area that makes me miss home like no other. It is an unpaid internship, and I work there three days a week. Its really cool because its not just an art gallery, the artists who show there have some kind of disability (it is connected to a non profit agency that helps people with disabilities find all kinds of assistance etc...). So yeah, thats cool. I would like to say that the majority of my job is designing stuff for them,, but honestly this past week it was more stuffing envelopes and licking them till my tongue fell off. Mental note - buy one of those wet sponge thingy majigs. Butyeah, I've been working there for a couple weeks, and they really like the designs I do for the shows (I do the posters, flyers, postcards they send out etc...). Even though its fun it gets frustrating when I am starting a design because the director has so much input that I struggle with putting myself into the design instead of letting it just be his ideas executed. So yeah, that gets really frustrating and I can already see how thats gonna be a problem for me when I get a real job. Is that bad? That I am already seeing a problem with my future job? Who knows. Fuck it, too late to turn back now. And I love every other aspect of it. Oh well. Anyway, if you want more info on the gallery - www.artbeyondboundaries.com
My other job is working at a coffee shop. I LOVE THIS JOB. I have worked there since august. I just got a fifty cent raise! Woo. Pretty much, I am one of five employees (including the owner). Its the tiniest little place, but its awesome. Its not your typical cutesy coffee shop, its owned by a guy in his thirties who is obsessed with coffee and has little decorating sense but made this place pretty damn cool nonetheless. He is awesomely laid back and all the employees are awesome to work with. Hannah works with me on saturdays and she is a 16 year old. We exchange high school stories, mine reminiscent and hers fresh from living them yesterday. Then I tell her about college and she talks about how she cant wait. I always tell her to wait. As fun as college has been and is, I do still miss parts of highschool. Like free periods where you end up running as fast as you can up the driveway so you can sign in before the damn minute hand on the clock ticks. Or chowing down on nachos at contact time and bitching about the politics test. Or always being a set of lockers away from friends. Sigh. Anyway, the other woman I work work on sundays is named Paula. She is a thirty something mother who got pregnant in college and dropped out (even though she was on a full scholarship to a really good school - I cant remember which) and now has twins who just graduated from high school as well as a 5 year old daughter. She is about to start the process of divorce with her husband. She is really cynical about life and marriage and honestly, it scares me. A lot of her stories seem like they are about missed opportunities or settling for things which turn out to be mistakes she regrets for years (ie marrying her husband in the first place). She gives me the same advice i give hannah. wait and enjoy. Is that what the rest of life is? Wishing for yesterday? wow, that got depressing quick. Anyway, the fun part of working with her is that she is hilarious. We gossip the entire time since our boss isnt there, and the regulars love us. Sundays are hilarious. The regulars are awesome. They make the job worth it for me. The little bits of conversation I have with them every weekend are really fun. Next week I am gonna start working on thursdays and fridays as well. So basically I won't have a singe day off, but its alright. Most days I don't have to get up till 11 anyway.
I am still an art major. Well, technically, I am a fine arts major with a concentration in Graphic Design with a minor in Gender and Diversity studies. The minor was one of those random ones where I looked at my classes and was like hmm.... i only need one more class for this minor. oh hey, I had to make a portfolio website this semester, so if anyone wants to see that - http://student.xu.edu/~fortunek/portfolio.html I had to make it totally from scratch, so yeah. that's fun. I wanna redo it sometime this summer because I feel like you can totally tell it was my first flash website, but its cool anyway.
ok. This last semester was the hardest I had ever had. I took printmaking, graphic d 4, art history, euro history 2, philosophy 300 level and theology 200 level. just a word of advice, never take four classes that are all about reading and essay writing in one semester. I worked on homework every day from the moment I got out of class until 3 in the morning. It sucked. But I still found time to go to the bars of course. haha. Oh, and the art department decided to screw me over this semester. So, my thesis is to do a gallery show at the school. Usually, we are paired with one or two other people in the show. However, if you have a 3.77 gpa in the art classes, you can do a solo show, which is really presigious etc... So I had always hoped to do that. This semester I realized that I had a 3.75 in the art department, but I figured that they would take this semester's grades into account and I'd be fine. So I declared my intention for a solo show (aka checked the box on a piece of paper saying so) and turned the paper in. A couple months went by and I heard nothing and I got so busy I didnt have time to deal with it. So during exam week, I remembered and asked my teacher. For some reason, they all thought someone else has told me - no, they don't take this semester's grades into account. I missed a solo show by .02. That really really sucked. I was pretty damn pissed about that. Oh well, I'm over it. And since I'm talking about it, you are all invited to my show next year. It'll be sometime between march and may. I'll give you details. I know you guys most likely won''t be able to come etc... but I'm inviting you anyway.
Life in cinci is kinda weird right now since everyone is out of town for the summer. There are some people in town who I hang out with. Most of my nights are spent just chilling at home, or at my friend's apartment watching movies and smoking hookah, or heading over to the college bar, which is practically deserted or filled with townies since its summer, and drinking a beer and relaxing with friends. No boy at the moment. Although there have been a few faint blips on the radar, most have turned out to just be the kind that never call you back etc... So whatever, still flying solo.

Wow, that turned out a lot longer than I thought it would. oh, its 11:!1 - make a wish. and kiss the clock.

So I Read....

So I read Carolyn's post and decided to post about my life now. Currently I am employed at Ace Hardware making $7.30/hour and working 30-40 hours a week or whatever I can get. I spend most of my time with Tommy and barely see my family since I don't have a room anymore and am too poor to pay for gas. I got fucked out of my YMCA job because they accidentally hired like 10 more people then they had jobs for and so people from last year didn't get a job again. I have been told I can work there again next summer or during weeks when they might still need me which would be nice because I love that job and get paid so much to do it.

School has been crazy for me. SO everyone knows I started as Truman pursuing an Anthropology degree. When I finally realized that Anthropology was not as fun in college as it was in high school, and that it is actually boring and tedious, I decided to become a teacher instead. I wanted to teach first or second grade. I came down to SLU to stay in St. Louis to be with Tom and my family more (and I dearly miss all my friends at Truman...more than anyone realizes I think). However, SLU's tuition increased every semester I was there, and having to resort to taking out student loans which I didn't want to have to worry about, I decided to take a year off school and work. I told my parents and they thought it was ok except that I have to stay in class for insurance reasons. So I took classes at Meramac. I took all art classes, photography and ceramics and a few others. I found I really love photography and am actually decent at it. I also like ceramics, but I am not so great at it. It is really relaxing though. I finally decided to suck up my hatred for blood and become a nurse. So I am applying to Mizzou's nursing program in the hopes of becoming a nurse. I will have to leave Tommy again which is going to be so hard since I hate spending even a week away from him.

In the mean time I have been fulfilling my love of travel. I have realized that travelling is really the one thing in life I have passion for. I will never be satisfied with the experiences I have had. I want to experience the whole world and everything in it. I even want to fly through space and experience other worlds. The more I travel the more addicted I become. Going to Ghana was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. It really changed my life. Christie is studying in Germany and I am going to visit her in January and I cannot wait.

Me and Tom saw this show that was talking about how there might be an "elixir" that could let humans live for thousands of years. At the end of the show they interviewed a lot of people as to whether they would take the elixir or not, and everyone said no (at least everyone they edited into the show). I thought that was so stupid. I would live thousands of years. I would want to live that long so I could visit every country. By they time I was older they could find a way for humans to travel to other planets or galaxies. Who wouldn't want to be around when that happens?

Anyway, this ended up being a really random post. I just wanted to talk about all the things that are impacting my life now, and I want to hear about all the things impacting everyone else's lives. I've been losing some weight, and hopefully will be losing a lot more, so I want sometime this summer for us all to get together again. The whole group. Like all 30 of us. We could do some of the stupid things we used to do back in high school. I know everyone is caught up in their own lives now and it's hard to keep track of old friends, but we should at least try. Which might mean spending ten minutes a week blogging or reading splotches, or taking one night every couple months just to get a huge group together and just catch up. I miss you all.

Growing up too quickly...

"There's blood in my mouth 'cause I've been biting my tongue all week
I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything"

so i'm really hoping that someone is still checking in on this little blog we got.

do you guys feel like you are growing up too fast?

like you wish you were still goofing off during contact period? or comin home just a little tipsy to the dorms and worrying about your RA catching you?

cause this just sucks.

it's come to my attention.

that we are dealing with all the stupid shit now.

that we are dealing with all the real shit now.

i need a guaranteed place to live. a worthwhile roommate. a young dog. a finalized degree. a promising career. a consistent boyfriend.

then.

maybe.

i won't be.

so narotic. crazy. emotional. insane. stressed. stupid. impulsive.

like i can see why people get so worn down by the bones of life. i can see why people our age are giving up and being like well fuck. they get minimum wage jobs. they settle on families. they just settle. period.

i can see why people drop out. they don't get their degrees. they find some job where they can make decent pay for doing very little work. they aren't satisfied and they aren't happy.

i'm not saying i want to be like that. or plan on being like that. or have any chance of being like that. but i can understand it. it's kinda like reading that one reading in politics text book or that editorial in the paper where you in no way agree but you can understand why someone might take that position. kinda like voting republican. no offense hovis....(lol)

so lets end this post a bit more uplifting.

here's what i'm up to.

i'm taking summer class this summer through webster. it's an introduction to entrepreneurial management (basically because some genius came up with a rule that you can't take the intro class and the capstone class in the same semester). i have no idea what it is about but it is every thursday night for 4 hours at the webster campus in west county. next spring i plan on graduating with a bachelor's degree in business management with an emphasis in marketing and a certificate in being an entrepreneur. i'm workin a good 40 hours a week as a motorclothes associate at gateway harley-davidson and buell. i play assistant manager when i boss leaves town and i do more than my fair share of work in order to look good to bosses that notice and coworkers that are jealous. i still live in my parent's basement with the high high hopes of finding somewhere, anywhere, to live on my own. if for no other reason than to have a bigger space for all of my shit. so if anyone has any ideas i'm most definitely open to them. all of the past romantic relationships you had heard about have ended and i am whether for better or worse flying solo. i might be okay with it except i hate the attention i get from the old bikers at work as a young single "chick". there is no way that i get enough sleep. i do too much and stress about stupid shit.

i guess what i'm saying is that i'm going to school for a degree and i go to work for money and i fuck guys to have have sex. and while a degree and money and sex are all good things they just don't seem worth it at the moment.

so i challenge you to read this (if you even got this far) and then to respond. not in just a stupid little comment. i'm talkin a full blown post. where you update the rest of us with the general facts of your life. cause i want to know. and i want to hang out.

now i'm going to keep watching bill pullman, jeff goldblume, and will smith. while downloading my rilo kiley.

"There's a pretty young thing in front of you
and she's real pretty and she's real into you
and then she's sleepin' inside of you "