Roomies (Sorry For Posting Twice In A Row)
Ok so let me just say my roommate situation is not good. I miss Rachel we got along really well. This year is much different. Although I am grateful I even got a room because I applied like three weeks before school started and wasn't actually assigned until less than a week before school started. I also managed to get one of the nicest dorms on campus (they are like apartment dorms).
Well let me describe my roomie for you. An ugly nerdy beached whale. Ok that sounds really mean, but you guys know me, right? I would never say anything mean about anyone unless it was totally justified...RIGHT. So I'm not the nicest person but in this case it is totally justified to say mean things.
Lets start with the ugly thing. It's always unfortunate to have a really pretty roomie. Then a lot of the times you might get a roomie who brings lots of guys back and you get sexiled a lot. Or if you are not pretty (which is the case with me) and you have a pretty roomie and you guys go hang out together then you will feel that much worse about yourself cause everyone is looking at your roommate and ignoring you. However, I think it is just as bad to have an ugly roommate. While you look pretty in comparison, the amount of ugliness standing next to you will automatically ruin any chance of ever getting flirty looks or anything. And on top of it, every day you have to see an ugly face.
Next lets move on to the whale portion. She is soooo huge. Mean, but totally true. The nastiest part is she wears low cut pants because no pants will fit over her obnoxiously large stomach. So she wears the low cut pants and everytime she sits down her crack and rolls of fat hang out. I always hate seeing crack when girls sit down its so nasty and unattractive. But at least normal or skinny girls don't have the nast fat hanging out to make it that much worse. Plus, I could never borrow her clothes unless I found six other people my approximate size willing to share an outfit with me.
And the nerd part. She is such a fucking nerd. Every day her nasty nerdy friends come over and stay for like 8 hours working on homework. I really hate nerds. I don't mind losers (being one myself) but I can't stand nerdy people. They are the most annoying people ever. I want to shoot myself in the head instead of sit an be with them. So when they are in the room basically I'm not allowed to listen to music or watch tv or anything. I've taken to hanging out in Tom's room but yesterday decided I wouldn't let her control the room just cause she is fatter than I am. From now on I am going to turn on the tv whenever I want and listen to music whenever I want.
Which brings me to my next point. Music. I usually start classes a good hour after her and get back a good hour before her. So I was listening to music. I always thought it was the unwritten rule that whoever came into the room second either didn't listen to music or listened to music on the headphones. I have had to use my headphones on a daily basis because I've gotten into the room second. Well today she came in and turned her music up louder than mine. So I turned mine up louder. Got to the point where literally both our laptops had the music as loud as they could go. Mine was luckily louder so I won and she turned her music off, made tons of food for her fat ass, and went on the balcony (which I'm surprised didn't fall to the ground, we are only allowed to have four people on the balcony at a time and shes as big as at least four normal people).
She also sheds hair like crazy. The shower clogs up every time I go in there and there are massive hairballs everywhere. She thinks she is so fucking smart and thats pretty annoyiing. Just everything about her drives me crazy. She said last year her roomie walked all over her and I am pretty sure this year she thinks she can walk all over me. Well I was letting her for a little but I decided to fight back. I'll keep you updated not becuase you are interested but because I am proud my music kicked her musics ass today. I hope to have many more victories and eventually win dominance over the room.
posted by Reine @ 5:16 PM
5 Comments:
You are insane and I love you. Good luck with the whale.
The only real solution is to kill her or yourself. I believe you'll make the correct choice.
Jesus, Hovis, take it easy. 1) you can't hate nerds; Mrm is one. 2) holding her size against her just plain isn't fair. 3) those ugly comments? just plain cruel.
here's a thought: 1) talk to her about your problems, 2) ask for help from an RA or something, or 3) get a new fucking roommate!
I can't get a new room because I am in the best dorm building on campus.
I always think its fair to hold someones weight against them because if people wanted to lose weight they could very easily. It's unhealthy to be that overweight and I cannot imagine how anyone could get so large and not realize they have a serious problem and try to fix it.
hold on, while laura is dramatic sometimes everything she said in this small blurb was absolutley true.
In normal circumstances, i would say acting upon the judgements we make about others appearences amounts to nothing but unfinished thought, but making the judgements are not only human nature but also the cause of human excellance. Don't get me wrong, Fat asses get that way because they eat too much. On that we can judge their lack of self control; but acting on that judgement shows a lack of social etiquette which society has developed, a form of graceful dance that fails at raising the mental from the physical. Is not a fat person fat? It never made sense to me that we should arbitrarily draw a line that seperates a person's physical self from their psychological self, as both are so entrenched in one another that they might as well be identified as differing symptoms of the same illness.
anyway, She is out of control and has atleast 7 to 8 meals a day with snacks in between. an estimate of slightly over 300 lbs would be close i think. Her lack of control spills into the other parts of her life. this is most evident in her tempestuous episodes of ransacking the appartment due to the failures of her love life.
And not to hate on this ho' s'moe but she is the worst kind of nerd. I don't call my self a nerd because i think it requires some form of significant knowledge in a specific field. I relegate myself to the ring of dorks/freaks depending on your geographical location. I would say we are the dumber anthropological kissing cousins of nerds, whose interbreeding is not only tolerated but rather encouraged to keep us weirdos out of the professional sports arenas... Well anyway, it is with those credentials that i feel i'm qualified to tell you, as i said before, that she is the worst kind of nerd. Her proper class is HomoNerdien Elitium . These nerds are notorious for thier egomanical elitsm, and i have to say that i have never in my life met someone as stuck up and ugly in my life.
When i visit laura's apartment i try to be as polite as possible to her roommate understanding that the smallest faux pas could serve as a catalyst to her ferocious man eating temper. But seriosuly, once i knocked on the door, was let in by laura, then preceded to greet all the nerds in the room. My salutations were met with rolled eyes and sighs as subtle as a 36" tie-dye dildo. These people are mean ...
Moral of the story: it's good that laura's roommate is as fat and ugly as she is because it perfectly mirrors her inward personality.
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