HELP!!
I have been so stressed recently about schools. I am having a very similar problem Miryam is having. I cannot decide which school I want to go to. I am trying to decide between Truman, Mizzou, and SLU.
I love some things about Truman like that I can go horseback riding and that I can take dance lessons. Another good thing about Truman is that it is pretty much all nature and I really love nature. I also love how much snow there is up here. I love playing in the snow sooooo much! The bad things about Truman are that no offense anyone but I feel like I need to move on and meet new people and because I am at Truman I feel like I cannot do that because I know soooooooooo many people at Truman I knew like fifty when I got here. Another bad thing about Truman is it is located in just about the biggest shithole of a town ever and people keep saying to make your own fun but you can't make your own fun for four years you pretty much run out of fun things to do after one semester. Truman has a shitty Greek Life and I kinda want to be in a sorority. I have SAD and because Truman is pretty far north the dark grey long winter season does really affect my depression. Truman is also really really far away from home which sucks because I get homesick a lot. I really hate having a long distance relationship but I don't want to break up with Tom.
Then there is Mizzou. For a while I was positive about Mizzou. The good things about Mizzou are it is closer to home and it still has more nature than SLU and more snow. Mizzou has awesome greek life and a pretty campus. There would be more things to do at Mizzou than at Truman and it would be more fun and I could meet all new people. The bad things about Mizzou are that I would have to lose some of the friends I did make here and it is still far from my house so that if I went home I wouldn't get home til Friday evening and have to leave Sunday afternoon giving me really only one day at home. Also, Mizzou doesn't really have the whole nature thing Truman has and Mizzou doesn't have horseback riding or dance lessons. I think I would have the same problem at Mizzou with the whole depression thing. Again I hate the long distance relationship (even though its not that long of a distance) but I really don't want to break up with Tom.
Then there is SLU. The good things about SLU are that I could be with Tom and Merge and Sarah Meyer and some of Tom's friends who I think are cool. There are soo many things I could do at SLU because it is in the middle of the city. SLU has a pretty campus but its not like natural pretty its like man made pretty if you know what I mean. I guess no one else will get that but oh well. Another good thing about SLU is I can go home whenever and see my family so I won't have to be so homesick. The problems with SLU are that theres really not very much snow in St. Louis and I love snow. Also its not natural at all and you can't see stars or hear birds or anything like that. I really don't like the people at SLU for the most part because I have never had a good experience with someone I do not know - they are all pretty much bitches and assholes. SLU is also in a bad part of the city and that is kinda scary. Also, even though I could see my family more often, eventually I will have to live away from my family so maybe I should start getting used to not being at home now. This is going to sound corny...but, I think being with Tom would make up for the things I don't like about SLU. However, if me and Tom break up then I feel like I would have gone to SLU mostly because of him and then be stuck there after we break up. Another thing is it might make seeing Tom less special because it feels really special since I only get to see him like once a month.
Well, sorry this is so long but I hope you guys can help me out. I have been stressed out soo much because I feel this is a huge decision and I don't want to get stuck at a school I hate.
posted by Reine @ 1:00 AM
23 Comments:
mizzou...no offense, jt cause you kick a lot of ass but i don't think you should pick up and move to a school just cause of a boy...but i'm a hopeless romantic so you might not want to take what i say into consideration...you'll be closer to your fam...you know a few people at mizzou but you don't know a lot of people which will give you the oppourtunity to meet a lot of new people...still got the whole kinda-snow thing going for ya since thats apparently i big deal...and i totally know what you mean about the man-made look of shit...why do you think i'm in the middle of the mountains? ain't man made shit round here...best of luck, hovis...but like i said to mrm...you'll have fun no matter where you go...
i'd say mizzou has well.. you were so set on that earlier so obviously you had strong intentions of going there... being back in st. louis would probably be a bad thing for you, breaking away from family (slowly.. mizzou is close but not you know?) is good because it will need to happen sometime and why try to break from your family later on when you are trying to find a job and start a life of your own, that will be stressful enough on its own. and don't ever go somewhere for a boy! and if you don't like the long distance relationship so much then why are you in it? if its meant to be don't you think that he'll be there when this is all said and done? why do something that makes you so unhappy.. but definitey don't make your decision based on a boy.. it'll screw you in the end (too many people down here have done that and its too much drama!)
either way.. best of luck.. we're all here to support you
I know what you guys mean about making the decision for a boy. But Steph as much as I hate having a long distance relationship it is definately worth it in the end.
I just wish I went halfway to St. Louis (Mizzou) and Tom came halfway (Mizzou).
word verification: ejghmuv
That is actually kind of depressing because EJ died in a car accident on the 16th and weird that his name would come up in my word verification a few days before the anniversary of his accident...
You know what I think.
i think mizzou. you will be closer to home and that sounds like it is what you want most.
like everyone else, i think you shouldnt make the decison based just on jt (no offense there jt. like carolyn said - you kick ass.)
mizzou is like the middle ground as well. its between stl and truman, it is about midway with the whole nature thing, and about midway in the whole knowing people/not knowing people thing.
and you were so set on mizzou earlier. i think you should stick with that choice.
Trust me, no offense taken. Many a time i've told laura to not come to a school because of me and that in the end it's her future not mine.
Though i can't lie, i'd be estatic if you went to slu.
how important, really, is riding horses to you? how often do you do it anyway? i can understand the dancing thing more, but maybe there's a club that dances or something at mizzou? maybe you could start one? and what more do you do in st. louis than another place? i mean, as a group we generally hang out, watch movies, swim, drink, etc. what can't you do at mizzou?
also, slu is not a dangerous place. just want to say.
No but once you get off campus it is.
I have heard stories of people seeing other people being forced into cars and whenver I go to SLU all I hear are ambulances...SLU is not in the best part of the city but the campus is safe I think.
Well I spoke with Pip today about everything and I am pretty sure I am going to SLU which goes against everything everyone has just told me. In regards to the horseback riding thing, I love it soo much...but it is something I will have to give up. For the dancing thing (and even piano), I am close enough to home that I could take dance from people in St. Louis and it doesn't even have to be a dance thing on SLU's campus and I could take piano lessons again with my old teacher cause I will be in St. Louis.
The other day I found out that I can't go see my sister Michelle's confirmation because it is on a weeknight and it was the most depressing thing ever. I also missed Michael's first year of soccer which I heard was hilarious and everyone knows how Michael is...him playing soccer? The poor kid was raised with all women and likes to play with dolls and stuffed animals...and occasionally his penis.
Anyway the point is, even though I know I am eventually going to have to move away from my family that doesn't mean that I have to miss out on all the great things happening at my house. I really don't want to miss out on my brother and sisters growing up and I want to still be a part of their lives even though I am in college. Being able to go home on weeknights for confirmations and soccer games and birthdays is very important to me.
And as a huge bonus I can be with Tom. I guess if I want the whole nature thing I will have to take trips down to my cabin - which won't be hard at all because I will be so close to home my parents could pick me up and I could go with them. I could go atving like I love too.
I am pretty positive I am going to apply to SLU.
Has no one mentioned chooseing a school based on the actual school? Different schools offere different majors, and often that alone can decide where you belong. If I were you I would find out what you want to major in, and find a school that fits. Cause you don't need to go to school to ride horses or be with boys. I would be thinking of things like cost to quality ratio, and focused educational goals.
Oh I forgot to say that I do really appreciate the advice everyone gave me.
Well I am not paying for my school so cost is not an issue.
And for me at least, there are plenty of things more important than the academics for a school. Whichever school I would have picked would have been good academically.
But I've found being away from everyone makes me feel very depressed and my grades have dropped all this semester cause I've just been homesick. So instead of looking at the school that is academically the best maybe I should instead look at what school I would do best at, academically.
And doing best academically has a lot to do with the school - whether you are happy at a school or depressed or whatever.
I don't have I have to say Nick and Jeff you guys put a much higher priority on school than other things. I don't. I am a true slacker and have been forever. I mean school is definately important don't get me wrong but I think academically I could do good at any one of the schools I was choosing between.
Family and friends will always be more important than me to school. Always. Too many people think school is the most important thing but its not - building up your relationships with the people you love is much more important. That's why I'm picking SLU.
Sorry there are lots of typos in that last comment
I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT!
Do you get it now? How many times have I said it? It is not hurting me at all to go to an expensive school or a cheap school or to even not go to school at all. In fact it does not affect me financially one bit.
man, i'd love to not worry about the cost of school. that'd be nice.
laura, the reason you hear ambulances is because it's really close to several hospitals! duh!
word verification:xphala
It's probably because people saw your face Anna and then had to go to the hospital. Just kidding you are beautiful.
Nick I am not saying that I am not going to work at SLU. I don't think you understand that I am not completely disregarding the school itself. And I am not saying that fuck academics I am just going to college to have fun. What I am saying is while those things are important there are some more important things.
I think my family and boyfriend are more important than my school, but that does NOT mean that I think school is not important at all. It does not mean I am going to blow off school and just get drunk and party all the time. I know you think I'm like a raging alcoholic or something but the truth is I usually only go out to parties and drink and stuff like once a month if that. I usually spend the rest of my weekends visiting my family and Tom or doing homework.
I mean I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right but do you understand what I mean? I'm not trying to say that the academics do not matter I am just trying to say my family and boyfriend matter more to me because when I get old I'm not going to be dying and thinking of the grade I got in Chemistry my sophomore year at SLU but I will be thinking of the people I love and who have made my life awesome.
And besides SLU is better than Mizzou for me because they have a great business school at SLU and believe it or not I did take that into consideration when deciding which school I was going to pick.
nick, i'm with you but i don't think we're going to get anywhere in this argument.
i can understand wanting to be by your family, but i (my opinion here) think that it is irresponsible to choose a school to be closer to a bf.
and like others have said, it must be nice to not have to pay for college at all i know alot of us are going to be at least 40,000 in debt after college is all said in done, so 0 in debt must be really nice. but that does mean that someone is paying for your education and i assume that is your parents. with all your concern for your family and all wouldn't you want to help out the most and not spend all of their money on college when it could go to lots of things down the road? i know that i too am going to an expensive school but i'm paying for it all on my own and my family isn't burdened by it. your family on the other hand is going to be paying slu's tuition for a long time. i would have loved to go to slu, it was one of my top choices but they have one of the highest tuitions around this area, which is why i ended up down here in tulsa, same kinda school but 15,000 a year cheaper!
i don't understand any of your arguments b/c you keep contradicting yourself.
School is important. Family and friends are important, too. Just because your life goal may be to become a doctor or a journalist or something else you may deem a "worthy" job doesn't mean everybody wants to or needs to. I'm in no way saying those jobs are unimportant, but what about the janitors? The public bus drivers? The firefighters? The average education level of a firefighter is second grade.
Now, I'm not saying Laura will become any of these, or that she has the mind of a second grader, but I think if you guys really knew her and stopped to actually listen to her, you would know the commitment she has for her friends and family. You would know that she would have no problem being a stay-at-home mom. After reading everyone's comments, it seems like everyone missed one of her most important points: "I've found being away from everyone makes me feel very depressed and my grades have dropped all this semester cause I've just been homesick". SLU is a great school. She likes it. If she and Tom were to break up, she'd probably still like it, and it would still be a great school.
She asked you guys for advice and support, and half of these comments are just putting her down. I still love you all.
(Laura, if I've said anything incorrect, tell me.)
No thanks Pip.
I think people are ignoring some of the things I am saying and picking out bits and pieces and running away with it.
Here's the thing like my parents are paying for the school and they support me. Now, like you guys are saying SLU is really expensive. Do you think my dad (who worked his ass off and paid for his own college and has an excellent career to show for it and is the most driven person I have ever known) would be willing to pay all that money if he did not think I would do a good job academically at SLU? Like you all said me transferring from Truman to SLU is soooo expensive and my dad would love for me to go to a cheap school but he supports me completely and thinks SLU is the best choice.
Stephanie why are you talking like I am stupid? Your comment just basically says I am irresponsible and stupid and shows that you haven't really read (or understood) anything I said. Yes being with Tom is a huge bonus. But that is not my reason for picking SLU. There are soo many reasons and that is just a bonus.
Nick you have every right to think I'm arrogant and Stephanie you have every right to think I am irresponsible. But this is my choice and I don't understand why both of you are soooooo upset about me going to SLU. It is my choice not yours and instead of putting me down constantly maybe since you guys are my friends (or at least I thought you were) you could support my decision whether you agree with it or not.
I was just asking for advice not to be called names and put down.
I meant:
No, thank you Pip for standing up for me.
ok how about this - we stop all the bickering, name calling, put-downing, arguing, whatever the hell you wanna call it, because Hovis has obviously made her decision, and it doesn't really sound like anything anyone says is going to change it. so just stop. please.
i do support you, don't forget that.
you asked for input and that's what i was giving you. b/c i care for you i just wanted to make sure that you weren't missing anything or overlooking an aspect, b/c i know everyone is guilty of that time to time.
but i know you'll be great at slu, good luck!
Sorry it is hard to tell over the internet the way something says something so I think I misread or misunderstood what you were trying to say.
But thanks everyone.
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