yea i'm not wearing pants right now...and i don't plan on putting any on...

I am many moods right now. And I can’t concentrate on my Spanish reading. So if you are bored as well. Or can’t think straight, like me, then read this. And laugh at how much I think everything out. And laugh at how much I care about random stupid crap. Crap that is not a big deal. And should be treated as such. I miss everyone and love you all! Happy venting!
Mood #1: Apathy
I understand that this a typical mood towards the end of the semester but really, I do not care. I don’t care about attending lectures. Or doing labs which don’t really teach me anything. Or filling out scantrons which supposedly measure my intelligence on a particular subject. Or write essays in a language where I am far from fluent. The weather isn’t helping either. It is the perfect weather to stay inside and drink hot chocolate in front of a nice warm fire in fuzzy pajamas with really fun people watching a movie. Although apparently one should not watch Rocky Horror Picture Show with one’s roommates without warning them because they had never heard of it before. Is that seriously just a theatre junkie thing?
Mood #2: Anti-judging
Don’t judge me. Please. It’s driving me crazy. So my roommates and I had some people over last night. Drank a little. Smoked some hookah. Listened to some music. Peed in the snow apparently. Then ate the snow. (Don’t ask.) All in all a wonderful time. And I understand that there is an unspoken consent that there is going to be some mess involved with all of that. So when I decide that it is too cold to go to class and instead spend 4 hours cleaning the apartment, your apartment, that doesn’t mean that I “didn’t do anything all day”. I was more productive than you were so shut your mouth. And just cause I skipped class does not mean I’m going to fail out of college and work in the fast food industry. Just because I don’t have my class schedule figured out for next semester yet does not mean that I’m going to drop out of college and work in the fast food industry. Just because I don’t have a shitty minimum wage job in this state does not mean I’m going to go broke, drop out of college and work in the fast food industry. Just because I have decided that I’m going to spend every possible moment of my winter vacation in St. Louis working does not mean that I’m going to drop out of college and work in the god damn fast food industry. I don’t think that some people get that I’m happier with what I’m doing then they have every been. I suppose it didn’t occur to them that I enjoy what I do. I enjoy my job. I’m going to college, risking life long debt, in order to keep doing what I love and excel in that field. As long as I learn the necessary material and get the necessary grades in order to get the necessary diploma to do what I want for the rest of my life who the hell cares if I don’t go to my recitation today? Who the hell cares that I didn’t do that lab? And who the hell cares that I freetranslation.com-ed my entire Spanish paper? Really? Really? Really. Does that really matter? And although my methods aren’t the most conventional way of doing things, but is that any skin off your teeth? Why won’t you just leave me alone and not judge me or my way of doing things? Did you ever stop to think that maybe I’m the one that has their head screwed on straight? And that maybe, just maybe, you are more lost than I am? That maybe what you are doing here, in college, the going to class and the getting the grades isn’t helping anything? That it won’t get you anywhere? That you are going to look back on it and be like wow. That was a complete waste of my time. I wish I had actually made some friends and had hung out with my boyfriend and had fun at my job and not skipped that party. You might be sad that I’m missing out on class and all the wonderful things I could be learning. However I’m sad that you are missing out on life. Those little things that are going on all around you. And you are too busy to notice the happy little things like a crackling fire and snowflakes and a yummy dinner and a perfect smoke o because you are too busy cleaning the ashes out of the fireplace and being cold and doing the dishes and bitching about cancer. You are working 60 hours a week at a grocery store cause “a job is a job” and you “need money”. You are concerned about learning everything in class and knowing everything on the final. Yet your life is miserable and you bitch about it all the time. So you turn to other things like alcohol and manic-studying and surfing face book of all things to get away from all that crap that you “have” to deal with. That’s bullshit. For the last time, all that crap is optional. You want to do it.
Mood #3: Anti-cramming
Didn’t anyone ever tell you that too much of a good thing is still bad? Learning is good. Studying is good. You go to class. You do the homework. You read the chapters in the goddamn text. Now its time for finals and you psych yourself out. You stay up all night drinking coffee. You rewrite your notes a good 7 times to work them into your brain. You already know the material. You just don’t know that you do. You don’t sleep or eat. You laugh at me cause I’m staying up late as well but it’s to play board games with my friends. I’m having a good time and you are jealous but you mask those feelings with the feeling of pride of accomplishment. But then you freak cause there is so much you don’t know. So you keep studying. You show up to the test tired and hungry. You can’t concentrate cause the caffeine is making you shake. And then you wonder why you do so poorly. And then you wonder what I’m thinking. Well friend, I’m thinking about how happy my friend looked when they kicked my ass in Monopoly last night. Thanks so much for losing at Life.
Mood #4: Reflective
So you have the extremely good memories. And you have the extremely bad memories. And you have the kind of good memories like walking into that movie theatre holding hands with someone. Or that text message to tell you that you are missed. But does anyone ever have those memories that are kind of bad? Like a fight with a boyfriend that didn’t really amount to much. It wasn’t about anything in particular. You just remember the make up sex afterward. So forget all the shitty stuff. It doesn’t matter. It won’t matter. Digging up those memories only brings you down anyway. And that’s no fun.
Mood #5: Dirty
Haven’t showered in awhile. Enough said.
Mood #6: Lonely
Not really. It’s more like I just want someone to play with. I need a playmate more than anything. I’m not talking like a boyfriend or anything. Not necessarily. Although that might do the trick. I’m talking about someone who would want to stay up after dinner and watch movies with me. I’m talking about someone who likes to do things in moderation. Someone to hang out with. Someone to talk to. Someone who will go eat something with me even if they just ate but because they know that there is nothing more depressing than eating alone. Someone who is driven crazy by my roommates half as much as I am. Someone who realizes that I spent all day cleaning my apartment and comments that it looks good but also realizes that I only did it because it makes my roommates happy. And when they are happy then they are more fun to live with. Well. Bearable to live with. They can be fun every now and then. Usually when they are either drunk, high, or smitten. But whatever. Maybe I'll just get a gerbil. They are cute.
Mood #7: Naked
I just don’t want to wear clothes. But its freezing outside. And its impossible to heat this damn apartment. So it’s constantly cold. And turning on the heat is expensive. And wearing clothes is not. But this is all just a metaphor for how I feel about life right now. Oh yea. I’m so deep.