Disappointed and Depressed

So for a long time I was planning on going home Tuesday of exams week. I have an exam Thursday but all we are supposed to do is show up and turn in a paper. That's it. No exam or anything. In this class we are allowed 3 absences. Every time we miss a class and have an excuse it is a half absence. If we get four absences it is 2% off our grade and if we get five absences it is 4% off our grade. Anyway, I had missed 3.5 classes. If I missed the exam it would give me 4 absences. I didn't care because I was going to get 2% off my grade anyway. The only thing I had to do was show up for class this morning and turn my papers and my homework in. Then I would have been able to miss the exam and go home Tuesday. When I haven't gotten much sleep (which I haven't - I pulled three all nighters in a row), it is impossible to wake me up. I am the heaviest sleeper I have ever met in my life. So, I set FIVE alarms. Count them, FIVE. I even moved on of the on my desk so when it went off I would have to get out of bed and turn it off. Well my class started at 9 and ended at 10:20. I woke up at exactly 10:19 on the floor with my phone alarm on my chest. I had climbed out of bed to turn my phone alarm off in my sleep and slept through the other alarms.

So I went to go find my teacher in her office. I turned in my essay I had spent hours and hours writing and revising (I had like six people total read over it and give me suggestions). Now I am upset because I think I might get 5% taken off for it being late. I spent so much time on it I was just really disappointed. Then on top of it my teacher told me now I had to go to the exam since I had missed class. So now I have to stay in this shithold two extra days I could have easily not had to be here for.

Also, I had been hoping to find a ride home this weekend for Margaret's First Holy Communion. I have been looking forward to seeing this for months. However, I have not been able to find a ride home because it is the weekend before exams. So I asked Christie if I was able to find a way to Mizzou if she could give me a ride back home with her carpool. So for a while she had a ride but we just found out we would not have a ride back at all. So now I cannot go home for Marge's First Holy Communion and I am really really really really really really sad about it. And pissed about it.

So I was walking back to my room and there were puppies in the quad to draw a crowd to get people to donate money to some cause. I was playing with the puppies and it was cheering me up a lot. There were these two adorable girls who were about two and four. They had blonde curly hair and the bluest eyes I have ever seen. They were wearing cute dresses and holding little Disney Princess purses. I was talking to them and we were playing with the puppies together. I was wondering where their parents were when this man walked up. He was their dad and I realized he was in the army. For some reason it really upset me. I don't even know those people but I know that dad might have to miss out on his daughters' First Holy Communions. He isn't going to get to be a big part of their lives and it made me so sad. What if something happened to him while he was fighting? He has two beautiful little girls and I was so depressed because I didn't want him to have to be away from them or be risking his life.

Everything just built up and now I'm here in my room crying about two little girls I don't know, an exam, and a First Holy Communion. I just wish I could go home and fuck all the rest of my tests and exams. Right now I am just feeling disappointed and depressed.