I am in dire need of your assistance.
Friday night, Jon slept on my floor in his sleeping bag because his roommates were gone and he was really drunk and didn't want to be by himself. At about 3:30am, I was awoken by the sound of Jon taking a piss on my floor. He must have been a dog in a previous life, because he at least managed to pee on some newspaper. Unfortunately, Jon and Denis think it is absolutely hilarious; Jon is even somewhat proud. So now they want to do it again. They even want to make a facebook group about it. I came back from dinner to find them in my room putting newspaper in the bottom of my trashcan. I will be keeping my door locked from now on, but if they do manage to pee (or poop) in my room, what should I do to get back at them? I need some good suggestions. I've already threatened them with menstruation. Gimme some more ideas, please!
posted by pipsqueak @ 6:36 PM
15 Comments:
tampon their room...with or without blood...and ketchup is a good look alike substitute if you let it dry a little. and their faces would be priceless.
screw the fake stuff...wait for it, then tampon their room...also, you could buy a pack of condoms, and fill them with a little bit of milk and elmer's glue, cover the outside of it in a little bit of dirt, and hide them in their beds. it'll scare the piss out of them...well, actually, hopefully it won't...then you'd be back to square one.
He did it. Denis pooped in my room. I need different suggestions, besides stuff having to do with tampons, please.
does he keep his door unlocked? ideas: steal his mattress, duct tape his computer to the ceiling, hide his pants, and etc. wow, i can't think of anything clever to do. i'll resort to my usual self. talk to your ra and have his sorry ass busted.
that same thing happened to a friend of mine... except her rooomie took a piss on her pillow, then puked on her laptop. thankfully it was closed.
ideas: fill his entire fucking room with cups of water or some other such easily spilt liquid...like pee...
take his door off his hinges and hide it in the fire escape...
or if you want the whole "appropriate justice" thing you could give him laxatives in some form...just make sure your room is closed when he has to go...
ooooh, i like the laxative idea.
i definitely don't wanna get him in trouble with the RA. i'm not really furious about it, i just wanna get back at him. except the boys (who are apparently all in on this) said they would strike twice if i did something. even though they've already strucken twice and i haven't done a damn thing! i would probably do the computer on the ceiling if he had a laptop, but he has a desktop. he does have a wireless mouse and wireless keyboard, i could probably do something with those. i also like the water idea. sort of like forking. i guess. but i could, like, back out of the room while filling it with cups of water so that they couldn't step anywhere, on a chair or anything. they would have to drink the cups or dump them all out in order to get anywhere. i would have to have a while with their door open and them gone, though. keep 'em comin'!
do you have community showers? because you could get people in the hallway, preferrably lots of girls, and steal all his clothes and towel so he has to walk out naked. you could use the laxatives before this if you really wanted to add to the embarassment.
just steal all of his clothes out of his room...period...and showering utensils..
i heard about this one thing, and i don't remember it very well, and i can't remember who told me, but it involves putting i think shaving cream in a folded piece of paper or something, and sliding half of the paper under the door and then stepping on it from the outside and making the shaving cream explode into the room? something like that...i'm no help. but i'll think about it!
i really like the "used" tampon idea. but put it in places like their pants' pockets, and like, in their backpack or tape it to their books or something so when the pull their stuff out in class they're all over their stuff. i also love the stealing the clothes while he's in the bathroom. priceless. unless he likes to be naked in front of others. hmm....still thinking...
freeze his undies, put worms in his pillow... i dont know where that came from but it sounds kind of distgusting. i like the condom idea... sounds gross. oh oh or you could duct take him to his bed while hes sleeping... it would be a bit difficult but oh so good when he cant move the next morning mwahahaha!!!
marge: you can take a whoppie cushion from like walgreens and fill it with whipped cream (not so much shaving cream cause you can just whipe that shit up...just ask obtuse) and put the end of it under his door and then stomp on it...it'll explode in his room...make sure to tape the hole up though so you don't get shit all over yourself....
i can't destroy their whole room though.....i think i'm going to duct tape him to his bed tonight. monday night football, he'll probably be getting drunk. the only problem will be his roommates. maybe i'll have to wait til they're all asleep. but my roomie is "dating" one of the guys in that room, so that may be helpful. wheeee!!!
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