Monkeys.

Right, so I have an exam at 10:30 and I got up- by myself- at 9:00. Gasp! Then I proceeded to make oatmeal and put freshly chopped apples in it. I think I'm watching too much Food Network. As I'm eating my wonderful warm, brown sugariness, I sign on to AIM. And guess what- no one's on the goddamn internet, so what am I to do? Write an entry on MarkerSplotches. It's official- I have no life whatsoever. And just for everyone's joy, I am going to share what I got my dad for Christmas. At first I thought to myself, what can I get Dave? Tools? Nope, he's a goddamn woodworker. Outdoor stuff? He's got enough shit that he could work at REI. Golf stuff? Nope, gave that up years ago. Now what the fuck do you get the man that has everything? You get him something worthless. Amanda's post about the Russian squirrels attacking that stray dog gave me a scathingly brilliant idea. So I toddled on over to Ebay, signed up and made an account and started searching for the perfect gift. 6 days later, and the taxidermied squirrel on a stick is mine, for only $12.35. Dave is going to love it. Thank you, Amanda. And now I'm going to look for socks so I can scamper on over to my exam, wearing my pj bottoms, and my dyke clogs. That's right folks, I still use 'em, even at college.