tonight i'm gonna give you all my love!!--in the backseat--bubble, pop, electric! uh-oh! in the backseat...gonna speed it down and slow it up!!
um, so i just saw sisterhood of the traveling pants with miryam and jac. it was pretty cool. i liked the music, liked the jeans. i need some new jeans, speaking of which.
so i've been thinkin. college always seemed exciting to me and stuff, seeing new places, meeting new people, and recently it's become a lot scarier. i think it's because everything around me is changing, but i'm still in the same place, you know? like, i'll be going to all the places (well, almost all) around st. louis that i went to with everyone these past years, and suddenly i'll be doing it with new people. or by myself. quite possibly the lattter. and it's weird, and exciting, and terrifying all at once and even though i'm excited for slu, i still sort of wish i was going to a new scene, if only to have some change that i have more control over. i guess i used to have control over it. i wish i'd worked harder in school. but it's just that everything is changing, but i'm still in the same place i always have been. i guess i'm sort of jealous of everyone who's leaving, even if most of you are going to a place that's about as entertaining as wood pulp (no offense, but i've heard most of you say the same thing (not exactly in those words)).
i've also been thinking a lot about death. my mortality is on my mind more and more, especially when i'm in cars. i keep wondering when i'm going to die. like, what will i be doing when it happens? will it last a long time? or i wonder what i just will have done, and if it was something i was happy about doing. and then i think about when people say, i'm going to live this day like it was my last! what a load of crap. cause you'll be expecting too much to happen, and i would just end up disappointed if i had had a really horrible day or something, or didn't do something cause i was scared and then i'll think, so what if i die tonight or tomorrow, i just wasted my last day without even knowing it. and then i'll just get disappointed.
i don't know, this has just been on my mind for the past few days. i just felt like writing it down. and i hate to journal, so this was the next best place.
posted by maggotsparklepow @ 1:06 AM
21 Comments:
living everyday as if it may be your last... definitely not completely possible, but just the mindset it gives you can change your perspective on life. for instance, there are two sides to how much we should care as to what other people think of us... we should care or we shouldnt care(and the in between of course)...so when put in a situation which involves others, think about how you would like to be remembered...some of these you may not care about, but others may mean a lot to you... and just because im saying this doesnt mean that i am in anyway a symbol of perfection in this aspect
"there are two sides to how much we should care as to what other people think of us... we should care or we shouldnt care(and the in between of course)"
well then that would be at least three wouldnt it.
Oh and living each day like it was your last is an incredibly stupid idea that I have no clue how it turned into a guide for happiness. Shit if this were my last day alive, Id probably go break stuff, or waste my time saying by to people. And I am sure other people would go on a big party trip, and can gaurentee that no one would be doing thier jobs. I hardly think it is advice when you reccomend mass global choas as a solution to changing your morbid attitudes.
jeff, don't be a shit.
you don't have to make every post an argument. merge's thoughtful ramblings should be responded to in a like manner, as in:
i've always felt that i...
i think if it were my last day...
man! i need new jeans too!
and not so much quoting other people to point out their mistakes or inconsistencies. that's mighty annoying.
I am sorry, I guess your right, it is better let people live the last day of their life(or everyday according to some people's logic) in complete ignorance to what they are saying. I mean it is one thing if you condridict yourself from one post to another, or even in seperate paragraphs, but back to back sentences is uncalled for wether or not you have come to face your own mortaility.
and cake, I am a shit. I dont make everypost an argument(ok well on MS I do, but in general I dont), and forgive me for trying to give someone a fucking opionated pointer about thier writing. I sure as hell hope I am open to suggestions and new creative ideas right up to the point i die on my 60th birthday.
now I could completely contridict myself right now, and you wouldnt be able to do a damn thing about it without looking like a hypocrite. Dont dig yourself into holes like that.
Oh and I do hope you all hate me right now. Thats kindof what I was going for. Cause see its easy to watch something you hate die as you walk away smiling.
im sorry you think "in between" is a side...its kinda like saying there are 3 different teams on the soccer field, the red one, the blue one, and the black and white one... and there's no Referee. try not to take me quite so literal.
want something else to argue about? i woudnt take that guarantee of nobody doing their jobs... some people actulally like to work, believe it or not... a music artist wouldnt do a concert? a fireman wouldnt save somebodies life? or a surgeon?... the list goes on...
you sound quite sure of yourself on how other people should be or write... my guess is that you know what youre all about, which is cool... im still learning.
"Oh and I do hope you all hate me right now. Thats kindof what I was going for. Cause see its easy to watch something you hate die as you walk away smiling."
I didn't know you had killed us or that we were dying...
Anyway... I think the whole "living like every day is your last" quote thingy is alright for some people. I think you should just lay back and enjoy life, don't worry about doing all kinds of stuff in one day or filling your day with interesting things so you won't regret it. Just be happy. Do spur of the moment stuff that makes you happy. If you feel like reading, read. If you don't don't. Everyone is gonna have a shitty day here and there but hey- shit happens and you just gotta keep on swimming (ah finding nemo hehe).
Wow, I just sounded like one of those magnets with all of those sayings on them.... maybe it is because i read the entire rack last night when I was waiting for sarah to buy something at borders. :)
i sort of agree with living everyday as if it is your last because it makes people appreciate life more. i think its sad that many people actually have to be in a situation where they are going to die before they are able to realize what is important in life. my dad's best friend mac (hes the one who should have died a hundred times because hes been blown up in vietnam and lost an ear, had hepatitis(sp?)...the bad kind, been electricuted, been caught in a whirlpool with his brother and his brother died but he survived...the list goes on and on)
well anyways mac was diagnosed with liver something or other (im not very medical) and he had like two months to live. well knowing its mac i knew who would live because that guy will just never die...god threw everything he had at mac and hes still kicking. but mac thought he was going to die. thats what threw everything into perspective for him. he was talking to me and my mom one time about how hes doing things and saying things that he would never have done if he wasnt going to die.
its things like that i think are what people mean when they say "live each day as if it may be your last" so that you dont have to be in a life or death situation to really begin to appreciate life. its pretty hard to do and i really havent been able to do it myself but i try.
ok the ref example, ya that was awful. A ref is a third party arbiter no something that is part of both teams. An example could be politcal parties. You have the right and the left, and the in the middle. If you agree with ideas from both sides you are the third option. Moreoever to bring this full circle you can care about nothing, everything, or somethings(pretty much what you said but in easy to understand terms) and thus three groups.
Next, you inncorectly assume what I refer to when i said dying, because while i could argue that we are all dying I really only mean this website. But thats normal if you look blogging trends(on average that is). The statement was more trying to show a bit of my stance to any relationship i have with the whole MS site as a whole.
In a world of infinite variables, there would be cases were i would be wrong about people doing their job. Would i be doing my job? no, would 50% of the world be doing their jobs, no. Would 1% of the world be doing their jobs, maybe, but one % of the world is pretty damn large, so I would still have to guess no. Frankly I am not worried about fractions of percents when i make general claims.
yes, i know myself pretty well.
maybe i'll comment on the mac story another time, but i dont feel like getting into a religous argument right now.
Jeff:
1) who are you?
2) why are so dedicatedly tracking the progress of an argument that has so little to offer anyone? you're as coherent as a kindergartener. as soon as I read the first thing you said, I started trying to forget it. but you just keep writing...
I think Jeff brought up a good point. Just like Margaret disagreed with the idea of "living each day like it was your last" because you might be disappointed, Jeff disagreed with it because people can't simply look for immediate gratification every day of their lives. Its too bad that Jeff can't provide his opinions in a nonoffensive way, and equally unfortunate that we let his wording get in the way of seeing his contribution to the discussion.
agreed
hahahahaha... i have no clue what to say exceot for the fact that i have an extreme dislike for politics, and please show me a perfect soccer referee.
wait i do have something to say... if everything i said was "easy to understand", or if i concentrate to make it "easy to understand," then i might just be trying too hard to fit in. there's no one correct way to read a poem or interpret a song... wow , i think im asking for some more rebukes here... have at it
Anonymous, I will not answer your question because you are to lazy to take the time to click on my name and find out exactly who I am. Sometimes thinking before you ask dumb questions is recommended.
The reason I come across so offensive, is because it creates better controversy then being nice. I have a different site I go to when I want to be nice. To prove my point, look at the posts with the most comments. There are too near 30 comments and in both of them, you guessed it, I pissed a lot of people off with insults.
If you wanted to forget the first thing I said, you should have probably stopped reading. And you must have thought that what I said was important to some extent evidence that your comment that you spend time writing deals pretty much 100% with me and what I said.
Ok rodent, lets get a few things straight. First off, telling someone to get a life is horribly cliche and general. People say that for the sole purpose of bolstering their own standing above others that seem inferior. While in your eyes my writing may seem to infer that I "have no life" and more importantly need to get one, the fact still remains that you ate it all up like dog shit. I hope you realize that you will never get back the 3 or so minutes it took you to read my comments. By acknowleding my opinions you have automaticlly lowered yourself to my level, a level which you claim to not be a life. I don't give to shits what you think about my life, but you certaintly do(evidence by your need to comment on it) although I would just like you to know you look like an ass and a bit of a hypocrite for attempting to insult me and my "life". I never said you had to read any of this, but you did, and you chose to make it important to you. It's not smart to bash what is important to you, it destroys your credibility.
As for how I want to spend my time. that is my own business. If I choose to live my life online in chat rooms, message boards, and blog comments then please don't tell me that I should do otherwise. Thank you for the suggestion though.
kylster, regarding your last post. I think I know what you are trying to say, but I am having a little trouble deciphering your point. There is a time for simplicity(talking to a child or explaining something that shouldn't be complicated) and their is a time for intricte and cleverly worded often purposely confusing statements(politics, law, microsoft user manuals). I think it is fair to say that arguing with words is a form of art, although maybe on a slightly different level then poetry. While it is true that one statement can be argued multiple ways(often used to discredit or reafirm a source) the end product of an argument(assuming that it is resolved) is off a unified slant on the object in question. In poetry, I think multiple opinions and interpretations are necceasry. Arguing however seems to be more of a tool to destroy all but one ideal set of opinions or interpretations. Good thoughts though, it made me pause and think.
so you say we've wasted three mins of our lives reading your comments? what do you think this entire argument has been, a good use of time? not really.. we're all trying to prove something that doesn't make sense to someone in here b/c guess what we're all different and we're going to disagree... i'm glad marge got to vent b/c that's always good but taking what she needed to get out and turning it into this circus is beyond ridiculous(sp?)... sorry everyone else seemed to be ranting on this and i had to as well
here here jac and steph. jac, love the mediating. it really makes us more civilized.
and thanks stephanie. i was venting because i was sad and upset and thinking about stuff. that's all; i didn't mean for it to spark all this enmity, but i guess i don't really have control over the comments, do i.
i thank you for your venting, as it gave me a few much needed sincere thoughts, and as a side effect, and set of interesting responses.
hahahaha, maggots, i love the avatar. Thtas classy. Didnt notice what it was until i zoomed in on it.
"i thank you for your venting, as it gave me a few much needed sincere thoughts, and as a side effect, and set of interesting responses."
thats what is suppose to happen, although i just tend to bash people to much for people to realize my good intentions.
um back to the jesus tittyfucking christ...i actually read that before i saw who that comment was by and i thought it was nick because that is one hundred percent an obtuse line and no one else can take it. i guess i cant really tell other people what they can and cant do with a line that is not mine. but i just did.
thought i was done with this, till tonight. found out something that happened recently to a guy i know. i guess his mom had been seeing another guy, and i guess his dad went and killed her, the guy, and maybe himself... i cant remember exactly... dont know where exactly this fits in, but think about it, and pray too, please.
I love you all. I can't help but snicker when I read all of these comments. The opinions, the madness, the attempts to be clever (yes, I am also guilty of this), the possessiveness, the hatred--it's just damn funny. Thank you all. Without controversy, life would be blah.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home