Sound familiar?

To anyone who was at Missy's before Spring Fling, I have a little article for you from The Onion. Guy Who Just Wiped Out Immediately Claims He's Fine A fraction of a second after wiping out on a patch of ice, South Burlington pedestrian Isaac Berkman loudly insisted that he was fine. "I'm fine, I'm fine, I"m fine," Berkman, 24, told concerned onlookers before he'd even straightened his badly twisted legs and attempted to stand up. "I'm okay". After noticing a deep gash just below his left knee, Berkman instantly assured witnesses that the heavily bleeding wound was "no biggie" and "totally under control". That sounds like something that happened to me. Hmmmmmmmmm. Only my onlookers were not "concerned onlookers". They were laughing-their-asses-off onlookers. Wow. Good thing I have such great friends. Also, how in the hell do I put spaces between lines? Like, pressing Enter should do it, you know? But it don't be workin'.