Kinda Depressing...

I have just been feeling really upset all day today and yesterday. Easter Sunday, the 16th, is the anniversary of EJ's accident two years ago. I just really miss him and I miss Nikki a lot too. The anniversary of Zach and Jordan Finley's is coming up on May 9th. I miss them all alot.

The worst thing was when I went with my little sister to go see Jordan in the hospital. Michelle and Jordan were good friends and on the same soccer team. We got to the hospital and found her room and both just started crying. There was little tiny Jordan, unconscious, surrounding by huge machines breathing for her and keeping her heart pumping. She was surrounded by all stuffed animals and flowers and her parents were in the corner crying. The thing that shocked me the most is the nurse. She was a young girl and looked like she was fresh out of school. The nurse was balling just as hard as everyone else and she had never met Jordan before. It's so depressing - she never had a chance to live.

Also I keep thinking about EJ. How I was with him a few days before his accident and he was showing me his new car and we were waiting for Nikki to finish the ACT. We went for a ride all over. I don't like to think about that though because the accident was caused because his car needed new tires and one of the tires blew up or something (I don't really understand how it happened) and he lost complete control of the car. That could have happened with me in the car. It's really scary to think one day you are with someone and they are perfectly fine and happy and nothing is wrong. Then something happens and they are just gone forever.

Sorry I just can't stop thinking about missing EJ. The worst though is trying to get that image out of my head of Jordan at the hospital. And I can't stop thinking of how awful it was for her parents. The accident happened on Mother's Day while Mr. Finley took Mrs. Finley out. Can you image, on Mother's Day, getting a call saying your only son had died and your only daughter is on life support and probably going to die? It's such a scary thought.

It's weird though. Michelle and Jordan were on the same soccer team and I used to go to almost all Michelle's games. Mrs. Finley would tell my mom a lot of times how she has nightmares Zach is going to be in an accident and so she didn't want him to get his permit because of it.

Well sorry for being depressing I have just been feeling very blue about all this lately. Not to mention everything else that seems to be going wrong in my life right about now.